Updated: Dec 17, 2018
Do your monthly hormonal shifts cause wedges between you and your beau?
Knowing how to talk to your partner about your hormones can really help.
As you’re working to figure out your hormones and monthly cycle, it can also be very confusing to those around you. Your partner wants you to be happy and know how to support you every step of the way. It’s a great idea to engage in an ongoing conversation about your monthly hormonal shifts.
This conversation keeps the doors of communication open and will bring you closer as a couple. It also brings an increased sense of awareness to your body, mental thoughts, and emotions that many women find creates issues in their personal relationships.
At first, it may feel weird to talk to your partner about this stuff, but trust me, it’s SOOO helpful! I was really scared before talking about it to my beau of how my hormones shifted and where I was at in my cycle. I thought he wouldn’t care or not want to know.
It was the opposite!
He doesn’t want to chat about it all day, but he thoroughly appreciates it when I tell him what to expect from each phase of the month. And I tell him every. single. month.
Remember, it's an ongoing conversation!
This topic doesn’t need to be taboo.
Whether you want to talk to him about how your hormones fluctuate, have him help you prepare and recognize where you're at, or want to take yourself off birth control for a holistic approach to your health, speaking openly about your desires will support your body beyond your current expectations.
Here's how to talk to your partner so they can support you best:
1. KNOW YOUR SHIFTS
Before your partner can understand your body, YOU need to understand it!
I know many of us sit there and expect our man to know these things, but how can you expect him to know if you don’t know yourself?
This is taught in great detail inside the Balanced Bombshells Lifestyle Plan.
Your man is not a mind reader! It’s up to you to tell him exactly what you want and need.
If you have a deep understanding on how your body operates in each of the four phases of the month, then you’re about to have an amazing, ongoing conversation.
If you have no clue, that’s ok! Start keeping a journal of your cycle and write down how you think, feel, and act in each of the phases. Begin to take data of how your body and mind operates. This is like pure gold and will change your life! Your hormone fluctuations become predictable once you know what to look out for, and you can best prepare yourself and your partner for these shifts.
No matter how much knowledge you have about how your hormones fluctuate, you can still start the conversation with your partner.
2. PLAY ON OFFENSE
Let’s be real, us ladies can be rather emotional. It’s what has led men and society in general to take “that time of the month” with a negative connotation.
Our work together is flipping this negative and turning it into a positive.
Any time you have a confrontation with someone or want to have a serious conversation, it’s best to play on the offensive side rather than the defense. When you come at someone from a defensive angle, the other person is more likely to match your attitude and energy, and come at you in a defensive manor. No one is listening at that point and things can get heated. No problem ends up being solved and it can create new ones!
To go on the offense, simply state, “hey boo, do you have a minute to chat with me?” By asking if they are available to chat, opens the doors to have a heart-to-heart conversation that will be more meaningful and impactful.
If it’s not a good time, or he needs to finish doing something, ask him when a good time would be.
The best conversations can be had in the early mornings on the weekend, a nice couple’s dinner, or while out for a sunshine stroll. There shouldn’t be any distractions and the intention is set to have a deep and meaningful conversation.
Sitting face to face can also be too confrontational for some people, so either walking or sitting beside one another can take the pressure off.
3. SHARE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU
Here is where you open up about what is going on with you.
You can set the intention early on where you speak your case, and then leave it open for him to share his thoughts and feelings. Just as he sat listening to you, you need to be open to hear his thoughts without interrupting.
Tell him that you’ve committed yourself to understanding your body better and you’d like to open the dialogue so he can be aware of your hormone shifts too.
The point of these conversations will be so that you both know what you need in order to feel supported, what your body may need at different parts of the month, and that he can be aware so there are no emotional wedges between you.
People don't always like change, and we tend to resist it at first. Even if you start with an initial chat, keep coming back to this openness.
Men and women’s bodies are created differently!
What he needs may be very different from what you need. Share these fun facts with him about how a woman’s body can differ from a man’s:
Men’s hormones are on a 24-hour cycle, meaning they reset at the end of each day, making a man’s emotions more stable. A woman’s body is on a 21-35 day cycle, which means it takes her body an entire month to reset. This leaves you more open to a much broader spectrum of emotions.
A woman’s body has four distinct phases in her monthly cycle making her think, feel, and act differently in each of them. This is extremely confusing for women, so it’s no wonder why men have had a hard time understanding us!
The week before and during a woman’s period, your body is far less resilient to stress than the other parts of your cycle. By acknowledging and understanding this, you can both be prepared so if you’re feeling stressed, tired, and overwhelmed, you need to take a break. This only works if you actually recognize, acknowledge, and then mindfully take a breather! By avoiding taking breaks, or trying to do “one more thing”, leaves your body more likely to feel run down and then create emotional upset within your relationship.
4. CLOSE WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS
A woman’s irritability can arise at predictable times (yeah girl, this can be cycle related!).
If it’s right before and during your period, chances are you haven’t done a great job for the past month (most likely longer!) of taking care of YOUR needs. We are far more likely to take care of everyone else than we are to take care of ourselves! Your body doesn't like this and let’s you know by becoming extremely irritated with those around you.
Tell your partner that you’re working on listening to when you need to take breaks (and will take them!), when you may need additional food (you need more before having your period in order to menstruate), saying no to things you don't really want to do, and how having open communication with him will help you become the woman you want to be.
One of the main reasons we get frustrated at our erupting at our partner is because WE haven’t taken care of our own needs.
Your partner becomes this verbal and emotional punching bag just because he happens to be there.
Close the conversation with reiterating that you're working really hard to learn your energy and hormonal shifts so you two can both lead happier lives.
Then make sure you take notes on your shifts and continue to share with him what comes up for you. Don't be afraid to ask for the space you need! If you need time alone, take it. If you want a nice date night, tell him. If you have a grand dream that's been on your heart, share it!
Your body is guiding you every step of the way, it's just up to you to listen 😋
Now think of a good time to chat with your beau and let him know all about your hormones!