Updated: Sep 13, 2019
Introducing Balanced Bombshell, Katie Coupe, a life coach, Executive Advisor, and world wide traveler to share her story of why she's grateful being single in her thirties.
Setting: I’m riding on the Amtrak train bright and early on a gorgeous Sunday morning. I’m heading to New York City from my new home in Washington DC to help my little sister pick out her wedding dress...
I haven’t always been chill about being the last single lady standing. It has taken a lot of work.
I’m 33, no kids, no boyfriend or husband – and I’m grateful. I’m going to share with you why.
At 25, I remember thinking I was ready to settle down. I’d just completed my fifth move in four years and thought “I’m ready for ‘the one.’”
What a joke!
Looking back, I didn’t have the slightest clue who I was, let alone bring a poor, helpless man along my journey of self-discovery.
If you’ve been able to accomplish a relationship while exploring your professional/personal/emotional/spiritual journey in your 20’s - bless you.
Teach me your ways!
That hasn’t been my experience, and isn’t my path.
Reflecting back I am so thankful I didn’t meet my person then because I had not had the space to be selfish, explore, travel, focus on my career, or learn to love parts of myself I once wished away. All of this work has taught me how to be the partner I want to be.
I couldn’t possibly have developed into the person I really want to be without my single years.
My time alone has allowed me to realize I couldn’t attract an amazing partner if I didn’t know who I was.
My single life has been a journey of self acceptance. And it has allowed me to grow far more than if I was coupled up.
I’ve spent hours reflecting in therapy, journaling, working with a coach, and discovering what works for me. I also explored my spiritual journey via acupuncture, reiki, hypnotherapy, and even visited a shaman! These helped me cut old cords and explore life in a new, interesting way.
There are days when I wake up and think, ‘okay Katie, Vegas last month was fun but perhaps it’s time to really focus on dating.’
Then this feeling fades and I’m able to rid myself of expectations and timelines. I appreciate the unknown for my future, even though it terrifies me.
Instead of letting fear get in the way, I chose to leverage my 20’s to pursue my dreams and passions in life.
Obtaining my Master’s degree from Cornell University, discovering my life purpose, and becoming a certified Co-Active life coach are highlights. As is having traveled to 20(ish) countries – and counting!
Dating certainly has it's perks - I've had some wild adventures, met really amazing men and continue to explore all aspects of who I am. It also provides endless entertainment and stories to share with girlfriends.
Like sitting next to someone I dated (which didn’t end well) on a six hour flight. Like not a few rows near or not across the aisle. I mean this man sat in the middle seat... next to me... separating myself and his now fiancé!
Thank god they were next to each other. It would have been really awkward to have them make out over me, if I was in the middle, and difficult to PLAN THEIR WEDDING for those six hours.
I can’t make this stuff up!
With anything challenging in life, it takes conscious work and positive self talk to let go and just be.
Some people feel a pang of jealousy when someone is engaged, pregnant, or buys a house. For me I feel that most when a peer gets the promotion I'd desired, or that dream role abroad.
It’s natural to long for things we don’t have and I allow myself to feel it. Then move on.
Just because I haven’t received the things I desire doesn’t mean I won’t get them.
In time our paths will unfold and we will get exactly what we need, when we need it. And I'm grateful for how mine is unfolding 😊
Katie Coupe lives in Washington DC and works as an Executive Advisor at a coaching startup. She is a certified executive and life coach with Coaches Training Institute, and has her own coaching practice. Katie has both her bachelor's and master's degree from Cornell University.
She recently checked off the 20th country off her list and is always on the quest for her next adventure. In her free time she's visiting local museums, exploring yoga studios and fitness classes, or taking a class to learn something new. She works to find joy each day and has a passion for helping others achieve their best self.
Visit her website at www.katiemcoupe.com
Follow her on Instagram @coachingwithkatie